It’s a sobering moment when we realise that our children are beginning to take more notice of what other people say than what we have to say.
In a world of social media we, their parents and carers, can feel that we are lagging behind, the least influential of all influencers.
We may be concerned that our children seem to be gullible, believing every word they read or hear on their latest app. Fake news and misinformation abound. So how do we help them to be healthily sceptical or, in other words, to develop critical thinking skills?
Encourage them to ask questions
It’s tempting to tell our children the facts, to ‘put them straight’, but it is better to equip them to use questions to evaluate the evidence themselves. Questions are the most powerful weapon we have to get to the truth of a matter, and we can encourage our children to use them by asking them some questions ourselves. ‘Why does she have that view?’, ‘Could there be any other reasons?’, ‘Do you agree with everything he has to say?’
Encourage them to use their imaginations
This is not to come up with their own untruths, but to contemplate what it may feel like in someone else’s shoes. We can ask our children to imagine why somebody may be expressing a particular view. ‘Have they had certain life experiences?’’ Who are they trying to convince?’ ‘Why might they want us to listen to them?’ And we can also encourage them to consider the impact on others. ‘How do you think another person would feel hearing or reading that view?’ ‘What would you do if you were in their shoes?’
Encourage them to evaluate in light of their own experience
How does what they are being told fit in with their own experiences? Encouraging our children to think through things they have seen, heard and felt themselves – actual experiences rather than what people are telling them – will help them to form more grounded opinions and responses.
Encourage them not to jump to conclusions
It’s important for our children to know that it’s ok to not have an opinion about something or to be taking their time to form a view. We can encourage them to avoid hastily jumping on the bandwagon of what may seem to be widespread public opinion, and to take time to develop and shape their own thoughts. We can also help them to be willing to change their minds in light of new information or a different perspective.
Encourage them to follow your example
Of course, this means we need to set a good example! And we can do this by getting them involved in our own critical thinking. If you’ve read or heard something and are in the process of evaluating it, why not invite your children to be part of that process? Explain the issue to them and your thoughts about it, and then ask them what they think.
Don’t panic
Sometimes we try on shoes knowing they’re unsuitable, but we give them a go anyway just to see how they feel. So don’t panic if your children begin to voice opinions that are not what you expected. Perhaps expressing them to you feels safe and is part of their own critical thinking process. It may be helpful to reflect their views back to them. ‘So, it seems like you’re saying that you think …’ Hearing their own thoughts said out loud by another person can help them to assess whether those uncomfortable shoes are worth keeping!
About the author
Mark Chester is the Parent Support Manager at Care for the Family. He is the founder of Who Let The Dads Out? and has been writing and speaking about fatherhood for over 20 years. He has two grown-up children.
Share on social media
Help us support families today
At Care for the Family we support couples, parents and those who have been bereaved. If you would be able to make a one off donation to support our work, we would be very grateful. Thank you.
