For all the married folk out there, if you were presented with the question, ‘Ever wanted a stronger, healthier, more vibrant relationship?’ – who of you would say no?
Whether you’re a hop, skip and a leap over your 20th anniversary, or you’ve just returned from your honeymoon, we can all take steps to build a happier, more fulfilling marriage.
Sure, it will take some sacrifice and humility, and while every relationship is unique, these efforts can lead to meaningful growth and deeper connection.
We spoke with Philip Jinadu, our director and key speaker from Going the Distance (our latest marriage event), to glean some wisdom from his 30 years of marriage to Kate. But before we jump into the deep end, here are some fun questions we asked them …
Tell us about your most memorable date?
Philip: Our very first date started with a film, a meal and talking into the night, and ended with me firmly in the friend zone.
Kate: When Philip took me to see Les Misérables. I was less than impressed with his choice of restaurant – McDonald’s for a date?! But the choice of entertainment was inspired!
Who takes the longest to get ready for a night out?
Philip: Kate.
Kate: It’s definitely me. I put in hours!
It’s your turn to cook – what’s on the menu?
Philip: Anything made with a wok.
Kate: It’s coq au vin again, I’m afraid!
Who’s better at DIY?
Philip: I’m king of anything inside the house, Kate rules everything outside.
Kate: I’m good at cementing, general repairs and decorating. Philip is good at carpentry … no, Philip is good at everything!
What are you most excited about your future together?
Philip: Growing in wisdom together, sharing new adventures and navigating fresh challenges.
Kate: I really hope we will be grandparents one day!
Beyond the light-hearted and playful memories, every marriage has its challenges and defining milestones. Let’s explore the heart of Philip and Kate’s story – the lessons they’ve learnt, the struggles they’ve overcome, and the triumphs that have brought them to where they are today …
How have you got through the tougher moments in your relationship?
Philip: Giving it time, being patient. Staying in the room when you want to run out. Conflict is inevitable, but when you’ve been through tough things, you know you can stick it out. It gives you confidence.
What advice would you give couples for going the long haul?
Kate: The key is to keep investing in each other. Make time for each other regularly. Like a house plant – you wouldn’t just leave it. You have to constantly water it, nurture it.
What would you say to couples unsure about getting married?
Kate: Marriage is a wonderful thing. It’s by far the most secure form of long-term relationship – much more stable than simply living together, particularly when children are involved. But it definitely pays to go into it with your eyes open. Seek out pre-marriage counselling and advice from older couples to make sure you’re as prepared as you possibly can be.
Given another chance, would you do anything differently?
Philip: If I knew then what I know now, of course I’d do things differently. We all would. But part of what makes marriage so wonderful is learning together, making our mistakes together and working out how to grow a closer, stronger, more intimate relationship together.
Come and hear more from Philip Jinadu and his fellow director Katharine Hill on how to build a marriage that lasts at our Going the Distance event.
About Philip Jinadu
Philip is an accomplished conference and event communicator and a director at Care for the Family. Through his marriage to Kate, and raising two daughters, Philip has become a fount of wisdom when it comes to marital communication.
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